i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
