I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
