Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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