I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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