People in love make me want to vomit
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
