Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
