I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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