Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
