I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize