This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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