the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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