they need to just BURY HIM!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize