we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize