But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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