i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
