hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
