sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
