If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
