i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
