im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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