You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
