This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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