dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
