When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
