Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
