from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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