Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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