could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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