if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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