Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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