i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
