It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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