After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
