i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
