He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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