I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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