i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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