guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
