Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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