So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
