That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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