Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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