And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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