bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
