How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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