When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
