last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
