MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
