Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
