For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
