I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
