and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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