I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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