I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
