just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
