We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Drake has all the answers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
