One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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