I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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