There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
