Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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