Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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