Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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