She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
