Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
