Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
